Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. Neither person knows what the other's intentions and feelings are. In other words, people clearly used signals other than pauses to indicate that they had finished speaking. We only become aware of the rules when someone commits a breach of this etiquette — by flirting with the wrong person, perhaps, or at an inappropriate time or place. Non-verbal flirting When a man and a woman meet for the first time, both are in a difficult, ambiguous and potentially risky situation. Good listening is essentially about giving good 'feedback', which involves giving both verbal and non-verbal signals to show that you are a paying attention, and b interested. This technique obviously has its limits. You can therefore approach a bit closer than 'arm's length' if you are alongside your target — at the bar counter of a pub, for example — rather than face-to-face.
Experiments have also shown that females are more likely to tilt their heads to one side when they are interested in the person they are talking to. There is some leeway, of course, and other qualities are also important, but statistically, relationships where one partner is much more attractive than the other tend to be less successful. These distance rules apply particularly in face-to-face encounters. Verbal flirting Although your target's initial impressions of you will depend more on your appearance, body language and voice than on what you actually say, successful flirting also requires good conversation skills. Parting Your approach to leave-taking after a flirtatious conversation is of critical importance, as it will determine your future relationship with your companion. By touching your companion's hand, you are opening negotiations towards a higher degree of intimacy, so keep it light and brief: They argue that the large human brain — our superior intelligence, complex language, everything that distinguishes us from animals — is the equivalent of the peacock's tail: There is also evidence to suggest that women are naturally more socially skilled than men, better at interpreting people's behaviour and responding appropriately. Remember that a hand-touch, unless it is the conventional handshake of greeting or parting, is much more personal than an arm-touch. The most common answer was not, as expected, "I love you", but "You've lost weight". As an experiment, try practising variations in your intonation of the one-word response "Yeah", and you will find that you can communicate anything from enthusiastic agreement to grudging acceptance to varying degrees of scepticism to total disbelief. We may be smiling and nodding, but unconsciously revealing our disagreement by a tense posture with tightly folded arms. If you are indoors — say at a party or in a bar — and nowhere near a window, some equally innocuous general comment on your surroundings "Bit crowded, isn't it? Reciprocal disclosure One of the most important aspects of verbal flirting is what psychologists call 'reciprocal disclosure' — the exchange of personal information. Men are inclined to interpret women's friendly gestures as sexual invitations, so women should be equally careful to avoid giving misleading signals with over-familiar touches. The direct question demands and requires a reply, the interrogative comment allows the other person to respond minimally, or not respond at all, if he or she does not wish to talk to you. In fact, they never fail to exclaim, men love it when women take the initiative. When observing your target's facial expressions, it is important to remember that although an expressive face — showing amusement, surprise, agreement etc. The studies and experiments show that men perceive women who take the initiative in asking a man out as more sexually available. June Learn how and when to remove this template message The examples and perspective in this section deal primarily with Western culture and do not represent a worldwide view of the subject. This may not be as obvious as a return of your arm-touch, but watch for other positive body-language signals, such as increased eye-contact, moving closer to you, more open posture or postural echo, more smiling, etc. A negative reaction to your hand-touch, such as the non-verbal signals of displeasure or anxiety mentioned above, does not necessarily mean that your companion dislikes you, but it is a clear indication that your attempt to advance to the next level of intimacy is either premature or unwelcome. Research shows that men find it particularly difficult to interpret the more subtle cues in women's body-language, and tend to mistake friendliness for sexual interest. The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. When asked about flirting, most people — particularly men — focus on the verbal element:
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